Drums - The Rhythm Of My Life

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

- A Mess -

i really am a mess. literally. i dunno wad im doing now. yeah im studyin for my exams but other than that my mind is filled with other thoughts. u noe wad, recently ive juz been tinkin, maybe its juz me ya know.

Time It Takes to Reject Me after Confession
Girl A - About 1 month
You - About 1 week

given this trend my next few confessions should result in the following trend
Girl 3 - 1 Day
Girl 4 - 1 Hour
Girl 5 - 1 Second
Girl 6 - Instantly
Girl >6 - Dun exist

i mean if it takes a month or a week to reject me because need to find appropriate time and need 'prepare' well dun bother, the hurt is the same no matter the time taken.

u noe wad, i really love this place now. becos i can say practically anything without actually saying it. call me a coward, i dun care, alot of wad i say here is in a fit of anger or sadness anyway. saying them in real life might really hurt the ppl arnd me. i choose to stay quiet and introvert in real life because i spend most of my time observing ppl. caring for those worth caring for and observing who are true to me.

once again, ive only found 2 ppl who really care about ppl, but they probably dun care for me at this point of time. sad but true.

so how do u forget someone that is impt to u? i dunno, thats y im here ranting. im not a D flip flop(nerd moment go google it), i dun change as and when i like. how long will it take? i dunno, thats y im here ranting. if i knew all these answers, this blog wouldnt even exist.

i nv knew u could be confused, hurt, frustrated, stressed(from exams), beaten(from exams) all at the same time. and then in addition still wanna care so much for a person. its really crazy how many emotions im feeling now, im pretty sure ive not experienced so many things all at once in my life.

heard of the term nice guy? i dun tink im one. read the previous posts, nice guys dun bitch online like i do. im probably a below avg guy juz really v serious and passionate about doing his stuff and liking ppl. thats highly likely the reason im feelin this way now as well. "the higher the expectations, the greater the fall." but i cant bring myself, much less confess, to someone if they arent up to my expectations.

then some of u will say, "aiyoh this loser, kena rejected 2 times only, then liddat." my reply: fucker, if u really like that person, 1 time is more than enuf.

haiz wadeva, i accept that im a loser, i wan time alone. alot of time alone. ill go chase my race car dream...

P.S. when will i stop liking you?

Music Took Control at 1:01 AM

Current Music

"Eyeless" - Slipknot
(External Drums By KRIMH)

Insane - Am I the only muthafucker with a brain?
I'm hearing voices but all they do is complain
How many times have you wanted to kill
Everything and everyone - Say you'll do it but never will

You can't see California without Marlon Brando's eyes

I am my Father's son
He's a phantom, a mystery and that leaves me
Nothing!
How many times have you wanted to die?
It's too late for me. All you have to do is get rid of me!

You can't see California without Marlon Brando's eyes

It's all in your head
It's all in my head
It's all in your head

I tried - You lied to me for so long
Everywhere I go, there's a sense of it
Freak on my antics and give me a choice
Doesn't matter if I give a shit
It's shit that you gave me

You can't see California without Marlon Brando's eyes

It's all in your head
It's all in my head
It's all in your head

Do you wanna feel pain? Takin' my name in vain
Caring never felt so lame inside
Anybody else got pride? Do you wanna take my life?
Maybe I'll reverse my ride
Who the hell are you? Fuck you!
Better suck it up cuz you bled through
Better get away from me
Stay the fuck away from me!

I feel safe - Seems your saved

Look me in my brand new eye